Livin high and takin it easy

Repost from a news article from BabyCenter…

***

Fetus Learns Intonations of Mother’s Language

Thu, Nov 5, 2009 (HealthDay News) — Infants who are just a few days old cry with intonation patterns that reflect the language spoken by their parents, new research shows.

The conclusion drawn by German researchers is that fetuses are listening closely to their mothers during the last trimester of pregnancy, laying the groundwork for learning language even before they’re born.

By analyzing the sounds of newborn cries, researchers found distinct differences in the intonation patterns of German and French newborns. Put another way, German babies cried in a recognizably “German” way, while French newborns were decidedly “French” in their crying patterns, according to the study published in the Nov. 5 online edition of Current Biology…

…Sorry, Dad. Most of the influence is probably coming from mom, DiPietro said. Even though the fetus can hear their father’s voice — in fact, deeper-pitched sounds such as the male voice travel better through the abdomen than higher-pitched female voices — the mother’s voice is also transmitted internally, through the vibration of her vocal cords.

“We know that the maternal voice is the most salient external stimulus to the fetus,” DiPietro said.

German researchers recorded the cries of 60 newborns born to either French- or German-speaking parents. The babies were three to five days old.

A sound pattern analysis revealed unmistakable differences in the newborns’ “cry melodies.” While French newborns tended to cry with a rising (low to high) contour, German newborns had a falling (high to low) inflection.

The patterns are consistent with the inflection patterns of the two languages, according to the study. French is characterized by a rising pitch toward the end of words and many phrases, while German is marked by falling pitches.

Previous research has shown fetuses are able to form memories in the womb that are important for early learning, said Kenneth Gerhardt, a professor of audiology and senior associate dean of the graduate school of the University of Florida.

A prior study noted a change in fetal heart rate when listening to a familiar voice. Shortly after birth, other studies have shown babies are more attentive to their mother’s voice than other voices, supporting the idea that the fetus develops memories of the maternal voice in utero.

“This is a valid study and a clever way to look at the memories that are formed in utero,” Gerhardt said. “The researchers are correct in stating these memories probably occur at the beginning of the third trimester of pregnancy. It’s at that point in time the auditory system just begins to respond to acoustic signals.”

Earlier studies have shown 12-week-old infants can mimic the vowel sounds of adult speakers. But younger babies don’t yet have the muscle coordination to produce the level of vocal control necessary to do that, according to the study.

Mimicking melody contour is simpler.

“Imitation of melody contour, in contrast, is merely predicated upon well-coordinated respiratory-laryngeal mechanisms and is not constrained by articulatory immaturity,” the researchers wrote. “Newborns are probably highly motivated to imitate their mother’s behavior in order to attract her and hence to foster bonding.”

The concept that fetuses can learn does not support playing classical music for your unborn child or the use of “fetal learning systems,” which are marketed as a way to give babies a head start by playing certain sounds through the abdomen.

“We have known for some time the fetus is capable of some learning, but it doesn’t mean you should teach them stuff,”it’s a terrible idea to put speakers on your abdomen and play stimuli to your fetus. There is no evidence they work, and we would guess they could even harm development by disrupting fetal sleep.” DiPietro said. “That’s the leap people make. But among all of us that do fetal research, we are unanimous that

– Jennifer Thomas

Click here to read the full article.

For my part, I just really had to laugh at that part where the fetal researchers unanimously say that its a terrible idea to teach your unborn baby stuff, that sure, they are capable of learning but it doesn’t mean you have to put speakers on your abdomen to give them a head start on learning. Tsk tsk.

Though I played a lot of classical music too when I was pregnant and slept through it during the day. I love classical music. There are certain operas that I absolutely love! Can’t fault me on that. I still used to play classical music while the baby slept when she was so much younger. Now it only wakes her up and disrupts her sleep so I only try to play it during play time. Most times though she listens to whatever it is I listen to and lately those are just anything from Jason Mraz, Damien Rice, Bat for Lashes, Iron and Wine, Tori Amos, Katy Perry, Lilly Allen to True Blood OST.

At the end of it all, I still say it’s so nice to be a mom. The babies are closer to their mothers but that’s just because we work so much harder than the fathers. From carrying them for 36-40 weeks to giving birth to breastfeeding, up to caring for them when they’re sick, teaching them how to walk and talk and be on their own. These days I’m so cranky because the baby sleeps really early like six thirty or seven in the evening and wakes up at three or four in the morning and I have to be the one to take care of her since my husband is very specific about having a good night’s sleep. Some days I get to sleep at six in the morning! No, some days (or weeks) I do the taking care of the baby all by myself!! Not too happy about that, really, I’m not.

Since her mother is always on the laptop, it is only natural that she would be interested in whatever her mother does on the laptop all the time. She now types and clicks on the mouse. She even makes a habit of unplugging the power cord off the laptop when her mother is on the computer and ignoring her. Her doting father took these photos.

October 11, 2009 on her father's work laptop

The comforter and Ilocos blankets are such an eyesore in this photo. Wish I can photoshop them away. Harhar. She also has this little scratch on the side her left eye.

My mother('s womb) is a hero - coz that's where I'm from

***

And thank goodness, these days I can be found reading books more than typing or clicking away in front of the laptop. I would much rather love to instill a love for books and reading in her than find her pre-school teacher telling me she refuses to learn to write or practice writing, saying “Why learn to write when I can type? And I can type really well too! I even chat with my papa when he is at work!”

Yes, teach by example. In that case, I might be finding myself with a violin in hand soon since I want her to play the violin instead of the piano as I had.

So far, though it’s only been six months, I am satisfied with how we are raising our child. Though over coffee some nights back, we realized that we have never really talked about it, I and my husband agree over how we think we should raise our child.

We always thought that we should not spoil our would-be children. Growing up, I came to realize that my own parents raised me and my siblings in the philosophy “We should give our children the things that we never had,” and thought, what is wrong with how they grew up or what they had? We as, though new, parents now think that we will try to give our children the things we had, the experiences we had, simply because these are things we are familiar with and know best. There is nothing wrong with not buying the most expensive clothes, toys or milk in the supermarket. Furthermore, there is nothing wrong with making a child cry because you would not give in to what he or she wants. There is, though, something wrong with spoiling your child.

Sometimes I fear that other parents will not look too kindly on how I raise my child. Having two sisters who have their own children, I have people to look to for advise or inspiration, on how to raise my own child. I realize that we are not the same people and will have different approaches to parenting. I have come early on to accept that “there are as many different kinds of parenting styles as there are many different kinds of parents,” and as such, I do not meddle with how my sisters raise theirs or make comments on how I think they should. Their children are theirs and as such, I believe they know best. I will observe on how they parent, I will look to them for and listen to advice but in the end, I will do what I think is best for me, my husband, my child and my family as a whole.

Between me and my child, I am the boss. I insist on what should be done. I do not hesitate to make my child cry if I think it is best.

But as with any other thing, one cannot control everything, no matter how much one tries. I can make a parent-led schedule and insist that my child follow it and it will result to some days where my child will cry unnecessarily for an hour just because I insist it is nap time even when she wants to play. As a parent and as a completely human being, I make mistakes too. I have come to realize that with as with any other thing, most especially in parenting, you can lose control and you will. When you do, the best thing to do is to go along with it and make the best out of it.

Now I still try to stick to a parent-led schedule but I will not allow the baby to cry for hours simply because I think she needs to sleep more. I will, instead, make the most out of her awake-hours by letting her play in a manner which would allow her to develop such skills as dexterity or socialization.

I will not be too harsh on her or myself. I will go along with the flow. Such are the hard lessons parents obsessed with control learn every now and then.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Here are a few photos from the christening last Saturday. I wish there could have been more but we were so busy. (Haggaaaarrdddd!!!) My ears were ringing all night from the shrieking that occurred that afternoon. Hehehe.

Thanks Cheekay and Voltaire for the photos.

Surprise #1: Your relationship with your partner will change
Surprise #2: You’ll have no idea where the time goes
Surprise #3: You may look different
Surprise #4: You’ll join an exclusive worldwide club
Surprise #5: You’ll be stronger than you ever imagined
Surprise #6: You’ll make “mistakes” you never anticipated
Surprise #7: Your friendships will change
Surprise #8: There’ll be times when you hate parenting
Surprise #9: You’ll be overwhelmed by love (and other emotions)
Surprise #10: You’ll have to let go sooner than you think

No matter how much you prepare for it, parenting will blow your mind.

Your kids will challenge you, bring you to tears, crack you up, and make you forget what you urgently had to do. They’ll shatter the life you knew into a million pieces. Then they’ll put it back together, like a stained-glass window, into something infinitely more complicated and beautiful.

While every parent’s biggest surprises are different, there are common themes to the ways that kids revolutionize our lives…

This article was lifted directly from another site.

You can read the whole text in full here.

***

Fighting during the first year of the baby is, I have found out, very common. One Sunday, Father’s Day it actually was, I took off to get some refuge at my friends’ house like I always do after Ryan and I had a fight. I called my eldest sister to talk and cried on the phone with her for hours. I could not talk to my friends about my issues since none of them are married. I was one of the first ones in all my many groups of friends to get married and for a time longed the company of married women like myself for some good talk about married life; and all the more did I look for mothers after I had the baby. Now I even join online groups for moms just so I would have an outlet for the myriad of issues I come across with and, sometimes, just to know that I am not doing so bad as a mother. My sister told me there will be a lot of fights as exhaustion and stress build up. It happens. It’s normal. We’re all just humans anyway and taking care of a baby is just really hard. That was just one of the many times I am thankful that I have sisters and that they are mothers like me too; and even more that they were mothers before I was.

Though most of my friends say I look the same, I know I don’t. Some of them say I am prettier. I think only because I have gained weight and this added weight looks good on me. At 95 lbs, I am still actually 5 lbs off from my ideal weight and 10 lbs off from the standard ideal weight for my height class. I have always wanted more weight on my frame, it just was so difficult to meet the 6,000 calories per day my nutritionist-dietitian recommended. More than the added weight, my body shape is different. Aside from a fuller chest, I now have wider hips and bigger thighs. It came as a surprise to me when two months after I had the baby, I took out the box of shirts I stored last January and found that eighty percent of my shirts did not fit me anymore. My body shape is different, but I love it.

I was never a party girl and thus did not have friends who were all about partying. I had different sets of friends, some of them drink a lot, some of them drink socially and some of them don’t drink at all. I stopped drinking beer back in 2005 and only had cocktails thereafter. I stopped having cocktails too in 2007. (I still smoke though, because it really is a hard habit to break.) I still see most of my friends. We still have good times together. I try not to talk too much about babies though, only when they ask, so as to avoid making my friends uncomfortable. Most of them do not have kids and some of them do not even have boyfriends. It’s a girl thing. I am happy though that at twenty-seven, I have friends (few they may be) who are now planning to get married or are planning to have kids of their own. It means our friendship will grow stronger. I am excited for them and excited at being able to possibly help them out too.  People evolve and it is only natural that friendships do too. Friendships are still relationships and like all other relationships, it has to be nurtured. Nurturing relationships come from a common desire to maintain communications or in other words, simply not let each other go. I am very grateful that I have managed to, so far, make such wonderful friendships. My friends are one of the things I think about when I am down, and that never fails to make me smile.

I had my first Mother’s Day a month after I had the baby and though there weren’t any gifts or even a hint of a celebration, just simple text greetings on the phone, I felt every minute of it. I got teary-eyed at every Mother’s Day commercial I saw on TV. I was even crying at the opening scene of Star Trek. I have always been such a cry-baby, but now that I am a mother, I am even more so.

Surprisingly, even if they said it would, my relationship with my own mother did not change at all. My mother and I never got along and we have always had a strained relationship. She almost never goes anywhere with just me. For a long time I dreaded having a child of my own because I was so afraid of what my own relationship with my own daughter was going to turn out. When I was pregnant, I even prayed the child I was carrying inside me was not a girl. As a child, I made my mother cry one too many times, perhaps even as an adult and, perhaps even now, and that made my mother say, “You made your mother cry. Your own daughter will too.” So afraid was I of this curse my mother put on me that I was not too happy when we confirmed, a week before I gave birth, that the child I was carrying inside me was indeed a girl. Now that I think about it, my daughter’s making her mother cry, was one inevitable fact.

We will always make our mothers cry. Be it out of sorrow or joy.

I cried and cried when I left my baby on top of the pillow and found her moments later, crying face down on the bed. When I first saw her face down on the bed like that, my first thought was, “Oh God I hope she is not dead!”, but she was crying and therefore was very much alive. I cried and cried because I felt so guilty for leaving her on top of the pillow like that and because I realized that the fear of losing my child is very real. It used to be that my biggest fear in life is losing everything in a fire but now that has been undeniably and understandably surpassed by the fear of losing one’s child. Material things are just material things but people, especially one you carried inside for thirty eight weeks, went through hours of labor for and made the center of your life, are worth more than any material thing I have, ever had and will ever have.

I have only been a mother for three months and have already shed a lot of tears. I know there will be more but it’s something I am prepared to have. Only because I love. I will cry buckets if I have to, and maybe, I even want to.

Today is a momentous day. Today commemorates (well sort of) the day I finally succumb to the demands of housekeeping and motherhood. Today I put up a white flag and said, okay I (finally) give in. Today, I finally got a maid. Well I suppose I actually put up a white flag when I told my mother please get me a maid, sooner than September – and that was a week ago.

September was the month I was going to get house help, simply because September is supposedly the start of the surfing peak season and I thought I was going to definitely need a maid to help me keep an eye on my little one.

But as it is, I’m only human, and more importantly, I am a human that gets depressed every now and then. When I get depressed, I do not feel like doing anything, anything at all. And when I do not feel like doing anything at all, housework pile up; and when housework pile up, I get even more depressed. Being the (sort of) obsessive-compulsive person that I am, I do not like it when the house is messy.

Today, I started the day early to help Sionie (or however her name is spelled, I can say its Shonie or Shunie or Shawny for that matter) prepare breakfast. In addition to my husband being sick, my mother also spent the night here and I thought it would be good for her to start her day with a good nice breakfast of sunny-side up eggs, hotdogs, rice and a good cup of brewed coffee from Papua New Guinea. *funky laugh goes here*

Then the rest of the day was spent showing her how I wanted my housework done. I thought it was best to show her how I wanted the housework done, and that of course meant, ‘done my way’. We spent the day doing laundry, cleaning the floor, vacuuming window screens, beds and sofas, changing the sheets and beddings as well as ironing my husband’s clothes. *straight face goes here*

That was of course in addition to taking care of my baby. The supposed rule is, no one is supposed to touch the baby as long as I am here or I stop doing any kind of housework when the baby needs me. I think though that it will take two to three weeks before I have everything running smoothly, the OC person that I am.

When I told my mother I needed house help, I told her I was okay with whatever skills she does or does not have. What mattered the most was that she knew how to cook because I can do almost everything on my own, except cook. What mattered the most was that I get to eat lunch because during lunch time my husband is away at work and I just spend my days missing lunch because I do not cook or cooking is the last thing on my mind.

So actually, today commemorates the day of non-missed lunches, of me and my husband being able to eat together… and of being able to go out to get a facial.

From CCP, we made our way to Shopwise Libis which, the depraved all-around mother that I am, have become my clothing store aside from supermarket, bookstore, furniture store, appliance store and even sports store. I went to get me some cool sandos that have been put on sale at fifty percent less than its original price. I got two of them two weeks ago and am almost bitter that I got them when they were not on sale. I have always loved sandos (and who doesn’t love sales), even when I was in college, and I think one can never have too many especially if you are always aiming to hit the beach. I also wanted to check out some utility shelves for freeing some much needed floor space in my workroom but at buy one take one at P999.00, they were already sold out. I got two shelves though at P645.00 each. Though they are not in the dimensions I needed for storing my baskets from Dapitan, they are probably better than having a carpenter build us one, especially since we do not personally know any.

Then we started looking at baby stuff: cribs, strollers, walkers, car seats, high chairs, play pens, clothes and toys, and I swear one could just get lost in that area for hours. We got the baby a bath tub foam because she will soon be graduating from her net bathing supporter. We still could not find a bath tub with the bottom drainage plug and for the meantime will have to endure ours. I personally think baby bath tubs without bottom drainage should be phased out or deemed obsolete, never to be seen again in department and supermarket store racks as well as street stalls in Divisoria and Quiapo.

I finally got the baby a mobile. I have always been thinking of getting one, but we simply could not find the time to go out. This Sunday though, my in-laws came over to baby-sit for us so that we could go watch the play as well as do some shopping. Due to the lack of choices, we got a musical mobile that I personally think is quite ugly but that which the baby seems to love anyway.

 Since I am preoccupied with mobiles, I found this interesting website that “has been designed to provide information on everything that you need to know about baby mobiles.”

 Take note that it only provides information. Do not expect to see any photos. True to its word, there is nothing here except [useful] information on everything you need to know about baby mobiles.

I wish I had something like this. Oh dear, one can just get lost in the musical mobile choices, but then who has that much money?

I found some interesting things that I think I would like to hang in that mobile, aside from Babo’s green bird of course. In my box of what-nots I found these key chains that I was supposed to include in that mixed media art I was supposed to make, but like all other things in my mind (origami included), I never seem to find the time to do.

This makes me think about my room in Marikina during my college days which I filled with metallic fishes hanging all over the ceiling as well as my old condo unit with capiz shells and paper mache gold sun, moon and stars. Ah, gone are the idle days.

You will get stretch marks, no matter how much cocoa butter or shea butter lotion or body oil you lather on. But that is not reason to not do it, for all you know, there could be more.. or in my case, there could have been more. 

There is no such thing as no (or “narrow” for that matter) hips. One male friend used to make fun of me, “How are you gonna have kids when you don’t have any hips?” I had normal delivery. What was only important was that we made sure the baby was between 6 and 6.5 lbs. If it was too big, then I would have to seriously consider having a C-section. But still, not after going through trial labor.

• You can control your weight. Or most importantly, your baby’s. You can eat all you want, just make sure you eat healthy. Soda and ice cream are of course to be had in moderation.

• The size of your baby at birth in no way foretells how big he/she will be as an adult. So don’t make the baby too big. Unless your goal is to have a c-section. A small person will still be a small person, as pre-programmed by the genes, even if he/she was born 8 lbs.

• Some people simply look pretty pregnant, but that is not in keeping with: “You’re blooming! You’re so pretty! You must be carrying a girl!” Some un-blooming and un-pretty preggies are carrying a girl. Some preggies carrying boys do not look uglier than their pre-pregnancy days. That’s just how it is.

• In some first-world countries like the U.S. and Germany, congenital scans and ultrasounds are unheard of. Thus, feature stories on miracle babies in the Oprah show. To which I said, “How come the parents didn’t know their son did not have legs?”

•  There is no such thing as small breasts. Big breasts, small breasts, previously non-existent breasts have the same capacity for milk production. Invest in a good breast pump if you intend to breastfeed (and really, I hope you do).

• Speaking of breasts, though this may not be the fastest nor the cheapest way to jump from cup A to cup B or even cup C, at least you get to jump.

• Get a good OB-Gyne. Someone who is willing to hold your hand while you’re having contractions and willing to be your lamaze partner, because your husband will not be at the labor room. Unless you get the expensive ‘birthing room’. Preferably someone who will be there to see you through to that 10cm. Some doctors just show up at the delivery room.

• Don’t go crazy shopping for baby clothes and baby stuff. Accept all hand-me-downs from your sisters, relatives and even friends. Or borrow. Or buy second-hand from other moms who do not or will not need baby stuff anymore and can make use of extra storage space in their own homes. After all, these things are expensive and your baby will outgrow them before you can say ‘whoahreallyididntknowthatbutiwishididbeforeiwenttosm!’

These are just some of the things that come to mind right now but I am sure there will be more as I go along..

“When a child is born, a parent is born.” – Anonymous

No she isn’t really watching TV. I may come off as an irresponsible parent half the time but I do not make the baby watch tv. She’s just funny here.  I just made her sit there, so like the overzealous parent that I am, I can document her first unassisted sitting experience. Or is that another irresponsible parenting thing to do? She just turned two months after all.

And here she is, obligingly posing for the camera with a smile. As if to say, “Now go print that picture and post it in that baby scrapbook you always say you’re gonna make but never do.”