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mother’s day

Everyday is Mother’s Day As Long as…

MOMents By May 11, 2014 Tags: , , , , , , No Comments

So today is Mother’s Day and as in the past 5 years, I didn’t feel or do anything special. I remember last year’s Mother’s Day was extremely difficult. I was alone in my family’s condo in Taguig and afterwards I was walking around the mall in tears. I went to a waxing salon and they thought my tears were all because of the wax. I had to assure the lady that it wasn’t.

I sent Mother’s Day greetings to all my surrogate mothers, the “mothers” I have known, the “mothers” I still have, and the women in my life that were the closest to the mother I could ever have. I have never been very close to my own mother but she passed away in 2011 and the fact that I had no real mother to speak of, to celebrate Mother’s Day for, caused me a lot of pain.

And also because nobody celebrates Mother’s Day for me. Until Lia is old enough to know it, nobody will do special things for me on Mother’s Day.

But really, Mother’s Day is not only one day a year. Or twice a year depending on your nationality and where you are currently living (like my niece in Sydney).

Last year, I was feeling absolutely horrible, sad, lonely, and basically all those depressing adjectives, because not only was Mother’s Day passing by with nary a trace, the reason I can be and am called “Mother” was absent.

This year’s Mother’s Day is better simply because my daughter is with me. We don’t have to do anything special. I don’t have to receive anything. Every single day that I spend with Lia is Mother’s Day.

Everyday is Mother’s Day as long as I have her with me and that’s all that matters.

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Letter from a Mother to a Daughter… Happy Mother’s Day

MOMents By May 8, 2012 Tags: , , No Comments

My mom and I have never been close. She was never really active in my life. A long time ago, I came to a point when I did not care anymore about our relationship. I care now, but she is gone.

It’s been more than a year since her passing, and I can’t say I miss her as much as my sisters and brother do, for she was never really that big a part of my life. But when I come home to our house in Bicol, it feels ever more empty. Along with her absence came the feeling of our house being homey. She was truly what kept that house, home.

Some days I think about what I could have done to have loved her better. Some days I still fault myself for not having done more.

Now that I’m a mother myself and my own gone, never has it been ever clearer to me, that my mom, more than the mother I knew she was, was truly her own person, and there were so many things she had to compromise so she can be the mother she thought we wanted.

When I read this, how I wished I had read this before, so that I understood her more or better – or anything that could’ve made us closer. Now all I have are regrets, for things that were never done, things that will never be.

 


Letter from a Mother to a Daughter:

“My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.

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