15 Jan 2012
by angkuletin MOMents Tags: friendship, Lia, MOMents
Lia is making me very emotional tonight.
To answer the question, “Where is Papa?” I had to say, “Papa is not here. You know he doesn’t live in Lolo’s house. Papa lives in Papa’s house.”
While hanging out in the balcony, where she chose to join me after seeing me sitting in the dark on a little step and after putting on her favorite pair of shoes from the shoe rack that now holds almost all of her shoes and almost ALL of mine, she looked up at the sky, held her arms over her head and said, “It’s raining on a starry night.”
Looking at her shoes, and remembering mine, I am reminded of what her Papa said this morning, as he was packing my shoes in a big box, “You’re bringing all of these shoes? Now, you don’t have any shoes here.” I said I still have about six to eight pairs of footwear in the shoe rack. He said, “But these are the shoes that you don’t wear anymore.”
Lia went up to me, holding a little doll dressed in pink that she found in my sister’s bedroom’s display cabinet and that she fondly calls Princess, asking me, “Where are her shoes?” I said, “I don’t know. She doesn’t have any shoes.” Then she picked up another doll, a doll from my childhood, a United Nations costume doll from Denmark, and looked at its feet. Seeing that the Danish doll is also barefoot, she told me, “Her shoes are also missing.”
A few minutes later, she came back to me, holding a little black piece of something that upon closer inspection was revealed to be a tiny shoe. “Look mama, it’s a shoe.” And she tried to fit it onto the Danish doll’s foot and lo and behold, it fit! I heard her exclaim, “Yaaan!”
Coming back to Princess and her bare feet, Lia held it up and said, “Her shoes are missing. I’ll go and find it?” To which I could only nod. Speechless.
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11 Jan 2012
by angkuletin MOMents Tags: Bicol, Camarines Sur, Caramoan, Manlawi, MOMents, more fun in the Philippines, travel
So I was busy being a mother and doing my “home-based business” in call center mode today when I check in to my Facebook and voila!
My friend and STS (Science, Technology and Society) favorite seat mate Miapurple tagged me in a post, saying, “See what I found circulating on facebook! This looks very familiar”
And lo and behold!
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29 Nov 2011
by angkuletin MOMents Tags: Lia, milestones, MOMents, pre-school
At least once a week, Lia and I go out for a day – just the two of us. We’d take public transportation and just enjoy ourselves. She loves pedicabs and tricycles. She loves looking out of the bus window, with her hair blowing in her face. She also loves to take off her footwear and get on an utterly “relaxing” ride.
We usually hang out at various stores. The local department stores are so fun. They have a lot of cheap stuff that Lia and I just adore. We go home with either nothing or just about the weirdest stuff, like a big orange strainer that she insisted on putting on my head, like a hat, and a salt shaker.
We’d walk down the streets hand in hand, buying little trinkets and munching on fruits and other food bought from sidewalk vendors. Sometimes its maruya or puto bucayo and sometimes its lollipop or gummy bears or popsicles.
Yesterday we went for a little walk in Naga and passed by a preschool. I have long thought about taking Lia to school but could not find one that accepted toddlers her age. She saw the slide and see-saw and insisted on coming in. I grabbed the opportunity to inquire at the office since we were already there. Lia would be spending half her time in Manila and half her time in the province so I needed to know the possible arrangements, and of course, costs.
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03 Sep 2011
by angkuletin MOMents, Musings Tags: elephanty, MOMents, plastic flowers, silly panty, silly stuff
After a long day of going everywhere with Myx – local high schools, the Pili Municipal Hall, my friend’s house, the airport, the Cam. Sur Water Sports Complex, Ateneo de Naga University and San Miguel Corporation office, the last thing I wanted to do was go back to Wharf, even if I have been missing Tanikala Tribe for a while now. I made it home in time to take Lia out for a little trip outside!
We took a pedicab to we didn’t know where…. until I had this funtastic idea!
“Is that store in the old Benjie cinema still open at this time?” I asked the pedicab driver. He said it closed at eight.
When we got there, the guard was already closing some of the display windows. Apparently, they close at seven thirty, and Lia and I barely made it!
We walked in and Lia and I went silly crazy! Coz we’re silly crazy like that!
By the entrance was a row of colorful plastic flowers! Lia loves flowers. Actually, she only loves them because she loves giving them to me. Flashback to that fight she and her cousin Marielle had over these plastic flowers on a vase at my dad’s house. Lia has made a habit out of taking the flowers out of the vase and giving them to me. She wants to see me holding them with my hands, and preferably near my chest, if not on top of it when I am lying down.
So on this one afternoon when my eldest sister and her daughter were at my dad’s house, Lia took the flowers and gave them to me. Her cousin took the flowers, which were lying on top of my chest, and says, “This is mine!” Lia ran to her and tried to take the flowers back saying, “This is my Mama’s flowers! My Mama’s flowerrrrsssss!” and thus began a screaming, crying match with a tug-of-war for the beloved plastic flowers. I looked at my daughter’s eyes, her face streaming with tears and saw the struggle for “her Mama’s flowers” and I didn’t know whether to laugh or stay mum. Half of me wanted to just take the flowers away from my niece and tell her, “Yes this is MY flowers!” but I’d like to believe I’m the kind of mother that lets my daughter fight her own fights.
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01 Sep 2011
by angkuletin MOMents Tags: fun, Lia, MOMents, photo booth
On the night that we’re supposed to go back to Manila, Lia and I stayed home and guarded the door. Yes, that was actually what we we’re doing. Some person’s phone in the house kept ringing and some woman kept looking for someone, and this someone kept saying ‘the daughter and her child’ were still home. I decided that for this night, no one is getting past that door.
Lia and I amused each other, dancing to MTV, singing along to Disney Junior shows, and then, I had this brilliant idea of using an application on my mac that I have never used before – the Photo Booth.
These are what Lia and I came up with:
Kissy kissy
Tonguey tongue out
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05 Feb 2010
by angkuletin MOMents Tags: Lia, MOMents, mommyhood
..
…
Okay lang yan, masaya naman siya eh. Ansaya-saya!
08 Jul 2009
by angkuletin MOMents Tags: MOMents, mommyhood, parenthood
Surprise #1: Your relationship with your partner will change
Surprise #2: You’ll have no idea where the time goes
Surprise #3: You may look different
Surprise #4: You’ll join an exclusive worldwide club
Surprise #5: You’ll be stronger than you ever imagined
Surprise #6: You’ll make “mistakes” you never anticipated
Surprise #7: Your friendships will change
Surprise #8: There’ll be times when you hate parenting
Surprise #9: You’ll be overwhelmed by love (and other emotions)
Surprise #10: You’ll have to let go sooner than you think
No matter how much you prepare for it, parenting will blow your mind.
Your kids will challenge you, bring you to tears, crack you up, and make you forget what you urgently had to do. They’ll shatter the life you knew into a million pieces. Then they’ll put it back together, like a stained-glass window, into something infinitely more complicated and beautiful.
While every parent’s biggest surprises are different, there are common themes to the ways that kids revolutionize our lives…
This article was lifted directly from another site.
You can read the whole text in full here.
***
Fighting during the first year of the baby is, I have found out, very common. One Sunday, Father’s Day it actually was, I took off to get some refuge at my friends’ house like I always do after Ryan and I had a fight. I called my eldest sister to talk and cried on the phone with her for hours. I could not talk to my friends about my issues since none of them are married. I was one of the first ones in all my many groups of friends to get married and for a time longed the company of married women like myself for some good talk about married life; and all the more did I look for mothers after I had the baby. Now I even join online groups for moms just so I would have an outlet for the myriad of issues I come across with and, sometimes, just to know that I am not doing so bad as a mother. My sister told me there will be a lot of fights as exhaustion and stress build up. It happens. It’s normal. We’re all just humans anyway and taking care of a baby is just really hard. That was just one of the many times I am thankful that I have sisters and that they are mothers like me too; and even more that they were mothers before I was.
Though most of my friends say I look the same, I know I don’t. Some of them say I am prettier. I think only because I have gained weight and this added weight looks good on me. At 95 lbs, I am still actually 5 lbs off from my ideal weight and 10 lbs off from the standard ideal weight for my height class. I have always wanted more weight on my frame, it just was so difficult to meet the 6,000 calories per day my nutritionist-dietitian recommended. More than the added weight, my body shape is different. Aside from a fuller chest, I now have wider hips and bigger thighs. It came as a surprise to me when two months after I had the baby, I took out the box of shirts I stored last January and found that eighty percent of my shirts did not fit me anymore. My body shape is different, but I love it.
I was never a party girl and thus did not have friends who were all about partying. I had different sets of friends, some of them drink a lot, some of them drink socially and some of them don’t drink at all. I stopped drinking beer back in 2005 and only had cocktails thereafter. I stopped having cocktails too in 2007. (I still smoke though, because it really is a hard habit to break.) I still see most of my friends. We still have good times together. I try not to talk too much about babies though, only when they ask, so as to avoid making my friends uncomfortable. Most of them do not have kids and some of them do not even have boyfriends. It’s a girl thing. I am happy though that at twenty-seven, I have friends (few they may be) who are now planning to get married or are planning to have kids of their own. It means our friendship will grow stronger. I am excited for them and excited at being able to possibly help them out too. People evolve and it is only natural that friendships do too. Friendships are still relationships and like all other relationships, it has to be nurtured. Nurturing relationships come from a common desire to maintain communications or in other words, simply not let each other go. I am very grateful that I have managed to, so far, make such wonderful friendships. My friends are one of the things I think about when I am down, and that never fails to make me smile.
I had my first Mother’s Day a month after I had the baby and though there weren’t any gifts or even a hint of a celebration, just simple text greetings on the phone, I felt every minute of it. I got teary-eyed at every Mother’s Day commercial I saw on TV. I was even crying at the opening scene of Star Trek. I have always been such a cry-baby, but now that I am a mother, I am even more so.
Surprisingly, even if they said it would, my relationship with my own mother did not change at all. My mother and I never got along and we have always had a strained relationship. She almost never goes anywhere with just me. For a long time I dreaded having a child of my own because I was so afraid of what my own relationship with my own daughter was going to turn out. When I was pregnant, I even prayed the child I was carrying inside me was not a girl. As a child, I made my mother cry one too many times, perhaps even as an adult and, perhaps even now, and that made my mother say, “You made your mother cry. Your own daughter will too.” So afraid was I of this curse my mother put on me that I was not too happy when we confirmed, a week before I gave birth, that the child I was carrying inside me was indeed a girl. Now that I think about it, my daughter’s making her mother cry, was one inevitable fact.
We will always make our mothers cry. Be it out of sorrow or joy.
I cried and cried when I left my baby on top of the pillow and found her moments later, crying face down on the bed. When I first saw her face down on the bed like that, my first thought was, “Oh God I hope she is not dead!”, but she was crying and therefore was very much alive. I cried and cried because I felt so guilty for leaving her on top of the pillow like that and because I realized that the fear of losing my child is very real. It used to be that my biggest fear in life is losing everything in a fire but now that has been undeniably and understandably surpassed by the fear of losing one’s child. Material things are just material things but people, especially one you carried inside for thirty eight weeks, went through hours of labor for and made the center of your life, are worth more than any material thing I have, ever had and will ever have.
I have only been a mother for three months and have already shed a lot of tears. I know there will be more but it’s something I am prepared to have. Only because I love. I will cry buckets if I have to, and maybe, I even want to.
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