Musings

Tumblr has some really good sites. I happen to like this particular one that I keep coming back to without my knowing it. Today I came by the site again as I was looking for an image I already saw a few months ago, thinking it was where I would find it. Going from page to page, I realize how much this site inspires me.

The concept of Tumblr is nice. I’d like to have a Tumblr site too but I do not want to make another site I have to constantly devote time to update. Instead, I think I’m just going to post the photos that inspire me in this site. There are a lot, but I’d like to post at the very least one every week.

Here goes the first one.. and this is inspired by the pursuit of happyness – something we are all in pursuit of, whether conscious or not.

Or if not a photo, a quotation perhaps.

The moon, a big round pale yellow, is rising from behind the coconut trees in the horizon, just above and past the neighbor’s roof as I take a break from the day’s work. In a minute, I will take a shower, second today but this time shorter and quicker as showers are the only simple pleasures I take and can get out of this unrelenting heat. The past days can basically be characterized by flitting thoughts and nagging migraines. I have resorted to permanently wearing my eyeglasses in the credence that it is caused by my 20-100 myopic astigmatic vision and have developed an addiction to paracetamol. Though it may also be due to this blinding heat, the insufficiency of caffeine in my arteries, stress from the accumulated housework load or a combination of any two or what the heck, I will just stop speculating and admit that it is due to ALL of the aforementioned reasons.

As I was washing Lia’s laundry in the garage, I distinctly heard from the neighbor’s television set that all citizens of this country must conserve water and one of the suggested ways is taking less, or shorter, showers due to the El Nino phenomenon affecting the country today. I will pretend that I am not aware of such an advisory. Two pails of bath water everyday is not such a crime after all.

What is a crime is not having your pipes fixed when it is obvious that there is more than just one or two underground leaks as evidenced by monthly water meter readings ranging from 40 to 143 cu. m. for a household of two and a half people. Yes, landlady, you are committing a crime. Will someone tell me why I have to pay no less than P1,000 every month for water I supposedly consume when we do not even use the toilet’s water closet, I reuse the washing machine water for flushing and cleaning the bathroom and I use Lia’s used bath water for cleaning the garage? Must I state month after month that the average water consumption worldwide (whether first world or third world country citizen at that) is 3 cubic meters per month? Even if I bathe all day every day there is no way I will consume 40 cubic meters of water. Why is it that the landlady refuses to have the pipes fixed or exposed? Because exposed pipes look unpretty. (I miss you TLC). Damn, some people are just unbelievably petty.

In a month or two or preferably less, we will be moving out. My only hope is the Manila Water Company will do something about the filed complaint and pressure the landlady into doing something about these leaks. Forty (lowest so far in all of the past 13 months and we were even out of the city for half of that month) cubic meters is just a lot of water to waste. Dare I even make a comment about the 143? Shame on people like this.

The past days have been nothing but housework, housework, housework and keeping up with backlogs. I believe I even have “baby fatigue”, a.k.a. fatigue from taking care of a precocious nearly-eleven month old baby day in and day out. I love my daughter but these days, I am just. simply. overly. tired.

Maybe its really not the amount of housework left undone, maybe its this relentless heat. These days every time I have to go out into the garage, I have to wear my sunglasses. Is the sun really that bright or am I living in a cave? (Flashback to when the baby was a few weeks old and we were told she had jaundice – from not being exposed to enough sunlight.)

I do appreciate the quiet early evenings, when the baby has gone to sleep and the husband has not come home from work. It is my time for myself. It is the time to appreciate the simple pleasures of sitting on a chair, sipping a glass of ice cold dalandan juice and looking up at a humongous ball of yellow that is the sun of the night. Just another day in the life of a plain housewife, each day as boring as the next, each day more exciting as the one before.

I am now thinking, did I just have a “vacation” [question mark] because if I did, why do I feel so effin tired? Yes I feel soooo tired.

Define vacation.

vacation, noun – planned time spent not working

Define work.

work, noun – chore, occupation, business

Define occupation.

Halt right there. Yes I know what an occupation is. What I want is a definition of MY own occupation. Sometimes I like to think of myself as plain housewife, but that is just utterly boring… and inadequate. Besides who wants to have the word “plain” attached to his or her title? Sometimes I like to think of myself as stay-at-home-mom, but seriously?! That is simply unflattering. If I’m going to be stuck with an occupation that is in its truest nature boring, I would rather have a flamboyant title just to compensate.

I’m on a quest for that proper, vivacious title befitting of my work nature; but until then, allow me, the empress to rant.

I have been running up and down, down and up the stairs, all gaga with just about the simplest things. Do this, do that, do this after that, do that after this. I am so overwhelmed I cannot even think!

Going back to the definition of vacation, which is, in its narrowest form, time spent away from work. If my work is taking care of the house and the baby, then yes I did have a vacation. My rant is, I come home to find my work not frozen in time as I had wistfully hoped it would be but multiplied by a factor of three. I come home to more laundry than I care to wash, more dust than I care to wipe, vacuum or mop and more mess than I care to clean up. Add that to the fact that my mind is brimming with little and big ideas begging to be sorted out and hopefully, catalogued for posterity’s sake. I am overwhelmed. Physically, emotionally and intellectually.

If this is what it means to have a vacation, I suppose I’d rather not have one.

The true definition of vacation is, “to delude yourself with activities that are supposed to pamper your mind, your soul and your body… so they can better withstand the increased slash multiplied pressure brought about by piled up work”. Hahaha. The world does not stop for anybody or anything… not for “work” and most certainly not for “vacation”.

After a vacation, I’m supposed to feel relaxed, rejuvenated, invigorated but why do I feel so tired? Not only do I have less energy (not to mention money), I also have more work.

This vacation thing needs serious reconsideration, if not total reconceptualization.

For my pretty, chic, always-fresh-hair friend and my best bud Nicki’s better half… I love you.

To more coffee and chats. To more laughter. To more years of fun, carefree and no-pressure friendship. You are one of the few gems college gave to me.