My mom and I have never been close. She was never really active in my life. A long time ago, I came to a point when I did not care anymore about our relationship. I care now, but she is gone.

It’s been more than a year since her passing, and I can’t say I miss her as much as my sisters and brother do, for she was never really that big a part of my life. But when I come home to our house in Bicol, it feels ever more empty. Along with her absence came the feeling of our house being homey. She was truly what kept that house, home.

Some days I think about what I could have done to have loved her better. Some days I still fault myself for not having done more.

Now that I’m a mother myself and my own gone, never has it been ever clearer to me, that my mom, more than the mother I knew she was, was truly her own person, and there were so many things she had to compromise so she can be the mother she thought we wanted.

When I read this, how I wished I had read this before, so that I understood her more or better – or anything that could’ve made us closer. Now all I have are regrets, for things that were never done, things that will never be.

 


Letter from a Mother to a Daughter:

“My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.
If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”… Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep.
When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?
When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way… remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day… the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.
If I occasionaly lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you.
And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked.
When those days come, don’t feel sad… just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love.
I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared.
With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you… my darling daughter.”

This post was lifted off from here. Happy Mother’s Day…

P.S.
By the way, this year’s Mother’s Day is on May 13th.

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