Hi guys, I’m back. I guess I am.
From the posts on my Facebook wall, it seems that what will naturally follow is a resurrection of this blog. Yep, I ain’t busy no mo and because I ain’t I gots all the time in the worl’.
After dropping by the bar to put the glasswares away, in preparation for today’s Riot Show 3, a short stop at the mall, and a cup of coffee with some friends at Starbucks, Lia and I went home early. We also went to bed early, and as they say, early to bed, early to rise to catch the early worm. Or whatever.
We were up at five in the morning and since then I have been looking through photos and listening to music. As I was about to fall back to sleep, I saw my daughter sleeping with her hands under her cheek, like I do, and I just had to get my camera, dusty and badly in need of a visit to the service center, out and take a photo.
This is perhaps one of those precious moments that I might have missed had I been still at the bar. This is a reminder of why the bar is closed. I do not want to miss out on anything with my daughter. I will take her wherever I go like I always have. I will hang out with her; dance with her even in the middle of the crowded hallways of the mall; take her up and down the escalators just because she wants to go upstairs and downstairs; color the pages of her coloring books upon her orders – the leaves violet, the tree trunks green, the fruits brown, the birds feathers violet and the beak, the “mouth” as she calls it, yellow; read her monsters book, also known as Maurice Sendak’s “Where the Wild Things Are“; go over her Barney videos and Mother Goose Sing-Along again and again; sing her favorite nursery rhymes all day and take her to McDonald’s for her favorite fries.
Lia and I’s many conversations remind me why we are best friends. I love hanging out with her. We genuinely like each other.
We take care of each other and protect each other. She reminds me when to eat, “Mama, let’s eat?” She won’t let anyone touch me. I thought it was just one of those possessiveness thing she has going on; but in the light of last night’s events, I now realize she is especially sensitive to my being physically touched by anyone, anyone at all. She was suddenly sticking out her tongue at and being rude and angry at my friend Doreen and I was wondering why; until, while Doreen was telling me a story, Doreen lightly, playfully tapped me on my leg, Lia right away hit Doreen’s hand.
I don’t mind not having a nanny. I’m cool with bringing her along with me everywhere. I don’t mind misplacing things every now and then. I don’t even mind the mess the house is in all the time (though my Dad minds a LOT.) I don’t mind doing the laundry almost everyday…
…as long as I get to spend a lot of time with my daughter.
And I will get to take her to dance, voice, swimming, piano and whatever lessons she may want to be interested in. I will get to have long and winding conversations with her about all kinds of things. I will get to record a list of new words she acquires everyday.
I will get to know this individual that is so unique but is a reflection of who I am, who I may and can be. Of all the things I did wrong, I must’ve done something right, because I am blessed with a daughter that reminds me of how beautiful life is every single day.
I am so much happier now. Life is so much more peaceful and laid back. I can do my charity work somewhere else or in many other ways and maybe I will get the appreciation and respect I so rightfully deserve.