The Trapeze Swinger
Around the Well (2009)

Please, remember me happily
By the rosebush laughing
With bruises on my chin, the time when
We counted every black car passing
Your house beneath the hill
And up until someone caught us in the kitchen
With maps, a mountain range, a piggy bank
A vision too removed to mention

But please, remember me fondly
I heard from someone you’re still pretty
And then they went on to say
That the pearly gates
Had some eloquent graffiti
Like “We’ll meet again” and “Fuck the man”
And “Tell my mother not to worry”
And angels with their great handshakes
Were always done in such a hurry

And please, remember me that Halloween
Making fools of all the neighbors
Our faces painted white
By midnight, we’d forgotten one another
And when the morning came I was ashamed
Only now it seems so silly
That season left the world and then returned
And now you’re lit up by the city

So please, remember me mistakenly
In the window of the tallest tower
Calling passers-by but much too high
To see the empty road at happy hour
Gleam and resonate, just like the gates
Around the holy kingdom
With words like “Lost and found” and “Don’t look down”
And “Someone save temptation”

And please, remember me as in the dream
We had as rug-burned babies
Among the fallen trees and fast asleep
Aside the lions and the ladies
That called you what you like and even might
Give a gift for your behavior
A fleeting chance to see a trapeze
Swinger high as any savior

But please, remember me, my misery
And how it lost me all I wanted
Those dogs that love the rain and chasing trains
The colored birds above their running
In circles around the well and where it spells
On the wall behind St. Peter
So bright, on cinder gray, in spray paint
“Who the hell can see forever?”

And please, remember me seldomly
In the car behind the carnival
My hand between your knees, you turned from me
And said, “The trapeze act was wonderful
But never meant to last”, the clown that passed
Saw me just come up with anger
When it filled with circus dogs, the parking lot
Had an element of danger

So please, remember me finally
And all my uphill clawing
My dear, but if I make the pearly gates
I’ll do my best to make a drawing
Of God and Lucifer, a boy and girl
An angel kissing on a sinner
A monkey and a man, a marching band
All around a frightened trapeze swinger

I totally love this singer-songwriter. I have his Around the Well album and can listen to it for hours, at any time of the day. Visit his site or get to know more about him here. I would definitely catch it if he ever has a live performance somewhere within 50 kilometers radius of where I am. Or maybe even 500…

Flightless Bird, American Mouth
Twilight OST

I was a quick wet boy, diving too deep for coins
All of your street light eyes wide on my plastic toys
Then when the cops closed the fair, I cut my long baby hair
Stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere

Have I found you
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping or lost you, american mouth
Big pill looming

Now I’m a fat house cat
Nursing my sore blunt tongue
Watching the warm poison rats curl through the wide fence cracks
Pissing on magazine photos
Those fishing lures thrown in the cold
And clean blood of Christ mountain stream

Have I found you
Flightless bird, grounded, bleeding or lost you, american mouth
Big pill stuck going down

***


Morning
Around the Well (2009)

Hard light, take the wings of the winter
Song bird, they were strong hands that held her
Miles above ground, we can’t see you now

Morning took the reins from the rider
Strong hands on the lap behind her
They tear her nightgown, we can’t see you now

***

I laid in the tub, surprisingly more aware of the way the water clung to the skin of my cheeks, hugging my chin, my ears completely submerged in water, listening to this song in the way only one can when sound waves travel through not by air and a deep rumbling of what seemed to me like the sound of thunder in the water, yet more likely within, and i asked myself: Am I unhappy…? and, or perhaps more apt, but, why?

Am I unhappy because I feel it… or I think it?

I swam in that tub like it was the water by the little town that is El Nido back in those years and how it was when the rain fell all around me in tiny droplets that shone silver as they struck onto itself, fell on my face with a hundred tiny pricks that gave feelings to my otherwise numb self. Grey skies I remembered, in the exact moment that I wondered, can I possibly, literally, drown in this unhappiness?

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