Yesterday’s stress levels were an all-time high. It was the only day in this week that I was gonna go to work, having failed to show up for work on Monday as I was picking up the baby from in-laws, and dog from sister’s, and just unpacking stuff. As opposed to the healthy happy baby we left last Friday evening, we got one back who was running a fever, had watery eyes and runny nose. I spent all afternoon trying to get in touch with her pediatrician and all evening giving her medicine.

We went to the pedia very early in the morning, 7AM actually, and was informed our daughter had a viral infection, got prescription for 5 medicines and got advise and certificates for our travel for today. I was supposed to go to work all day. I did not get to leave the house as I could not leave my poor sick daughter like that.

I posted a status on Facebook and got a whole hullabaloo because of it. I was dumbfounded. I spent the rest of the day crying my eyes out, not only because I was tired from taking care of my baby, I was frustrated that I did not get to go to work, I did not know what to do anymore as my daughter kept crying at the simplest things and I got all kinds of flak on my own Facebook and from the person whom I least expected it from. No, erase that. I did not expect any flak at all from anyone. I had no intention to inflame, incense, offend – to make such a big deal to put it simply, with the status I posted. It was just a status. What a horrendously big deal that status turned out to be! I am still dumbfounded as of the moment. Maybe staying dumbfounded is best.

I made an unexpected S.O.S. to the husband who was at work so he could join me in a pity party I badly needed. Actually, that was not a pity party. It was a mature conversation about the whole thing because I was there, totally lost, and caught up in something that got out of hand before I knew it. Wow. Again, maybe staying dumbfounded is best.

That whole shebang actually led me to thinking I should stop posting Facebook statuses, making tweets and blogging in general. That’s of course understandable if you talked about social networking with someone who works on internet security for a living.

What a learning experience the past 5 days has been for me (I’m counting from Friday last week), and oddly enough, that whole experience reminded me I have not posted any music in a long time.

It’s time for some music. When your own words fail you, use someone else’s. I love you Green Day.

21 Guns
Songwriters: Armstrong, Billie Joe; Bowie, David;
Pritchard, Michael; Wright, Frank E.

Do you know what’s worth fighting for?
When it’s not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?

Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You’re in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

When you’re at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul

Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn’t pass
Nothing’s ever built to last
You’re in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone?

When it’s time to live and let die
And you can’t get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You’re in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

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