So I decided to make another post on the hottest film of the year, as if three is not enough. The quotes are all over the internet. It is on IMDB too. But I wanted to post if here nevertheless, what else for but for my own quick reference! I want to avoid always having to google every time I wanted to see a line or two. Then again, I can always copy+paste to a Word document and save it to my computer right? But what the heck, I want to post it!!!

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Summer: You weren’t wrong, Tom. You were just wrong about me.


Partygoer: So Tom, what is it that you do?
Tom: I uh, I write greeting cards.
Summer: Tom could be a really great architect if he wanted to be.
Partygoer: That’s unusual, I mean, what made you go from one to the other?
Tom: I guess I just figured, why make something disposable like a building when you can make something that last forever, like a greeting card.


Tom: People don’t realize this, but loneliness is underrated.


Tom: What happens when you fall in love?
Summer: You believe in that?
Tom: It’s love, it’s not Santa Claus.


Tom: Darling. I don’t know how to tell you this, but there’s a Chinese family in our bathroom.


Tom: It’s official. I’m in love with Summer.
[while Montage of Summer plays]
Tom: I love her smile. I love her hair. I love her knees. I love how she licks her lips before she talks. I love her heart-shaped birthmark on her neck. I love it when she sleeps.


Author’s Note: The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Especially you Jenny Beckman. Bitch.


Summer: We’ve been like Sid and Nancy for months now.
Tom: Summer, Sid stabbed Nancy, seven times with a kitchen knife, I mean we have some disagreements but I hardly think I’m Sid Vicious.
Summer: No I’m Sid.
Tom: Oh, so I’m Nancy…


Rachel Hansen: Tom, I know you think she was the one, but I don’t. Next time you look back, I think you should look again.


Rachel Hansen: You know, all my friends love you and think you’re great. It’s like they say, there’s plenty of fish in the sea.
Tom: [Looks at a group of twelve year old girls who wave at him and giggle] Those aren’t fish. They’re guppies.


Rachel Hansen: Better that you find this out now before you come home and find her in bed with Lars from Norway.
Tom: Who’s Lars from Norway?
Rachel Hansen: He’s some guy she met at the gym with Brad Pitt’s face and Jesus’ abs.


Narrator: This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Tom Hansen of Margate, New Jersey, grew up believing that he’d never truly be happy until the day he met the one. This belief stemmed from early exposure to sad British pop music and a total mis-reading of the movie ‘The Graduate’. The girl, Summer Finn of Shinnecock, Michigan, did not share this belief. Since the disintegration of her parent’s marriage she’d only love two things. The first was her long dark hair. The second was how easily she could cut it off and not feel a thing. Tom meets Summer on January 8th. He knows almost immediately she is who he has been searching for. This is a story of boy meets girl, but you should know upfront, this is not a love story.


Tom: [Montage of Summer] I hate her crooked teeth. I hate the way she smacks her lips. I hate her knobby knees. I hate that cockroach shape splotch on her neck.
[Fade to black]
Tom: [Swayze’s She’s Like the Wind plays briefly] I HATE THIS SONG!
Bus Driver: [Open to Tom standing while bus comes to a sudden stop] Sir, you need to get off the bus.


Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew.
Tom: Knew what?
Summer: What I was never sure of with you.


Narrator: Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life. May 23rd was a Wednesday.


Tom: Paul, seriously…
Paul: Did you bang her?
Tom: No!
Paul: Blow job?
Tom: No!
Paul: Hand job?
Tom: No, Paul, no jobs. I’m still unemployed. We just kissed.


Summer: I named my cat after Springsteen.
Tom: Cool… what was his name?
Summer: Bruce.


Paul: Robin is better than the girl of my dreams. She’s real.


Tom: You don’t want to be named as someone’s boyfriend, and now your someone’s wife?


Summer: Well, you’re a, perfect adequate greeting card writer.
Tom: Thank you. That was actually my nickname in college. They called me perfectly adequate Hansen. [taking a sip of champagne]
Summer: They used to call me anal girl.
[Tom spits out the champagne]
Summer: I was very neat and organized.


McKenzie: I tried to talk to her in the coffee room she’s totally not having it.
Tom: Maybe she was just in a hurry.
McKenzie: And maybe she’s an uppity, better-than-everyone super skank.


McKenzie: Now I know this may be a little risque…but if New Hampshire Greetings wants the jump on those conservative, right-wing neo-Nazis at Hallmark, maybe playing it safe is the wrong approach. The nuclear family is dead and we need a new holiday to recognize that….. May 21st. Other Mother’s Day.

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