So far, though it’s only been six months, I am satisfied with how we are raising our child. Though over coffee some nights back, we realized that we have never really talked about it, I and my husband agree over how we think we should raise our child.
We always thought that we should not spoil our would-be children. Growing up, I came to realize that my own parents raised me and my siblings in the philosophy â€œWe should give our children the things that we never had,â€ and thought, what is wrong with how they grew up or what they had? We as, though new, parents now think that we will try to give our children the things we had, the experiences we had, simply because these are things we are familiar with and know best. There is nothing wrong with not buying the most expensive clothes, toys or milk in the supermarket. Furthermore, there is nothing wrong with making a child cry because you would not give in to what he or she wants. There is, though, something wrong with spoiling your child.
Sometimes I fear that other parents will not look too kindly on how I raise my child. Having two sisters who have their own children, I have people to look to for advise or inspiration, on how to raise my own child. I realize that we are not the same people and will have different approaches to parenting. I have come early on to accept that â€œthere are as many different kinds of parenting styles as there are many different kinds of parents,â€ and as such, I do not meddle with how my sisters raise theirs or make comments on how I think they should. Their children are theirs and as such, I believe they know best. I will observe on how they parent, I will look to them for and listen to advice but in the end, I will do what I think is best for me, my husband, my child and my family as a whole.
Between me and my child, I am the boss. I insist on what should be done. I do not hesitate to make my child cry if I think it is best.
But as with any other thing, one cannot control everything, no matter how much one tries. I can make a parent-led schedule and insist that my child follow it and it will result to some days where my child will cry unnecessarily for an hour just because I insist it is nap time even when she wants to play. As a parent and as a completely human being, I make mistakes too. I have come to realize that with as with any other thing, most especially in parenting, you can lose control and you will. When you do, the best thing to do is to go along with it and make the best out of it.
Now I still try to stick to a parent-led schedule but I will not allow the baby to cry for hours simply because I think she needs to sleep more. I will, instead, make the most out of her awake-hours by letting her play in a manner which would allow her to develop such skills as dexterity or socialization.
I will not be too harsh on her or myself. I will go along with the flow. Such are the hard lessons parents obsessed with control learn every now and then.