Browsing Date

August 2009

Sleeping in the Backseat of my Life

MOMents By August 29, 2009 No Comments

I lay in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, my back flat on the bed for a change. It has been a long time since I laid in bed like this. I cannot recall at what time in my pregnancy did I stop laying flat on my back, because the doctor said it was bad. The past nights were always nights of me having my back propped on a pillow, as I laid on my side, the baby sleeping soundly in my arms.

Might tonight be the night that would be the first of many nights when I would not have the child in my arms?

I remember the very first night she went to sleep with me, in my hospital bed, faint, tiny, shrill cries echoing through the darkened white halls every now and then. I remember the very first night she went to sleep in our big bed, shielded from the careless big arms of her sleeping father by a pillow laid right in the middle, a clear separation between father and mother with child.

The many nights I had to lie on my side so she could easily reach for me with her tiny mouth, asleep in the middle of the night – her head barely touching halfway my chest. The many nights I laid her on top of my chest, her legs too short to dangle from my side. She used to be swaddled in blankets then. I used to get up every hour or so to change her.

The past weeks she sleeps with her arms around me, sometimes her legs around me too. Most mornings I wake up with a stiff arm, from having her sleep on it the entire night, a heavy head she has.

Now I am lying with my flat back on the bed, my hands together, resting on my abdomen. I could even lay with my stomach flat on the bed if I wanted to. I could wrap my arms and legs around a pillow if I wanted to. I could sleep soundly, thinking that tomorrow, chances are, I will not have a sore arm, or a stiff neck, or an aching back. There is a promise of a good sleep after many months but I find myself wide awake, unable to sleep, crying, looking at the baby sleeping soundly in her crib, one foot away from me, wishing she will wake up and look for me – and I will get up, tell myself she cannot sleep without me next to her, bring her back to sleep on my side, her heavy head resting on my arm, my aching back propped against a pillow, her hands and legs wrapped around me and we would both be drifting off to sleep with a hint of a smile on our peaceful, sleeping faces.

I don’t understand why this has to be this hard.

Three weeks

…baby babe, we’re moving so fast
I try to hang on
Try to hang on!

(A reverberation of Roxette)

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Hello Philippines Alumni Night

Theater By August 25, 2009 No Comments

It’s always nice to see a play. It’s always nice to see friends. It’s always soo much nicer to see a play with friends. But then, it’s even so much much nicer to see a play of friends with friends.

After the show is over, the real show begins. 😉


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Easier

Old Writings By August 19, 2009 1 Comment

I climbed higher up the hill, pausing each time to look back and take in the sight of the sea from way up. The sky was overcast but the zephyr kept my heart light. I spotted a hammock tied between two thin tall trees, swaying gently with the wind. I was delighted, but shortly disappointed to see that it was wet after I came running towards it. I then walked slowly towards the narra bench, dry and gleaming. I sat on it, untied my hair and let the wind blew it across my face. My hand in my hair, my elbow on the bench, one foot tucked underneath me and one dangling loosely to the ground, I stared at the boats dotting the sea in the distance. The sun was trying to peek through the thick gray clouds. I stretched my full length on the bench and stared at the rays of sunlight coming through the leaves overhead. It was a bit too bright. I flipped onto my stomach, rested my chin on my arm, and looked through the strands of hair over my eyes towards the trees, hoping to see wild monkeys playing somewhere in the woods. I saw none. I heard a bird shrilly call out but it was cleverly hidden in the trees. I flipped onto my back again. I was rolling on the smooth bench over and over again, I have no doubt I must have swept it clean.

I am lonely.

Just then, as I was looking through my splayed fingers, into the bright rays coming in through the leaves, the wind gently blowing my hair falling to almost touch the ground, my neck cool against the shiny, smooth narra wood, it suddenly came to me. That gnawing realization, the thought that suddenly comes into your mind from out of nowhere, like sudden inspiration, coming to you as if it is some important clue to a very essential puzzle that has been haunting you for life.

It is easier to find men to love you than to find a man to love.

Written September 11, 2005

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One Sunny Saturday

Travel Factor By August 17, 2009 Tags: , , , , , No Comments
Angku and Lia at the Travel Factor 1st Team Olympics Meralco Field August 15, 2009

Angku and Lia at the Travel Factor 1st Team Sports Olympics Meralco Field August 15, 2009

I really, really wanted to play games and badminton for this event. I got all very excited when the event was first announced. I had wanted to play badminton for so long. The last time I played badminton was in 2005, when I was still living in El Nido. I took it up as a class in college and that was even more long ago. I could not even remember the rules of the game.

Then the wedding invitation came just a little more than a week before the event and it was a wedding I could not not go to.

So I said I was just gonna play the relay games in the morning but Ryan got confused with the time of his arrival from Munich-Amsterdam. Lia and I waited for him to get home and arrived at the Meralco field at about forty-five minutes before noon – missing the relay games completely.

No matter, it was nice to see our Travel Factor friends play and just have fun. Lia had such a great time watching too from her stroller and meeting people and most especially Mathea, who is 4 months older than she is.

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Top Ten Tourist Destinations in the Philippines

Travel By August 13, 2009 1 Comment
Mt. Mayon sunrise one August morning

Mt. Mayon sunrise one August morning

The number of foreign tourists who visited the Philippines’ top 16 regional destinations outside Metro Manila rose 6.4 percent year-on-year in the first six months of 2009, according to the Department of Tourism or DOT.

“Foreign arrivals in key destinations increased 6 percent in the first half of the year despite a decrease of 6 percent in inbound visitors into East Asia and the Pacific,” Tourism Secretary Ace Durano said in his semestral report.

While the DOT did not release the complete international visitor arrivals data in Metro Manila for the period, there was a decline of about 5 to 7 percent in arrivals from other countries this year, according to other government offices. Data from the Bureau of Immigration show that a total of 1.22 million foreigners arrived in the country from January to May 2009, compared to 1.31 million who arrived in the same period last year.

This was supported by Carmelo Arcilla, executive director of the Civil Aeronautics Board, who said there was a 5 percent drop in international airline passengers in the first semester.

What made up for the slack in foreign visitor arrivals was the double-digit growth in domestic tourism which provided the impetus to sustain tourism growth in the midst of challenges brought by the global financial crisis and Influenza A (H1N1).

“This feat is attributed to the substantial increase in domestic tourism by 20 percent in the second quarter of 2009, which enhanced the business and investment confidence in the sector during the period January to June 2009,” Durano said.

He said the changing lifestyle and travel pattern of more Filipinos and Philippine residents to spend their Holy Week, long weekends and summer/ holiday vacation in the various tourist areas of the country boosted tourist flow.

Altogether, foreign and domestic tourist arrivals in the top 16 tourism destinations were up 16.5 percent to 4 million in the first half from a year ago.

The department was targetting at least 3 million foreign visitors this year, up from just over a million tourists in 2000. Durano said that as tourist arrivals rose, some 8,000 hotels rooms have been created in the Philippines over the past five years.

“As tourism facilities and products continue to expand, the DOT anticipates greater growth in tourist arrivals in key destinations towards the end of 2009. The growing interests among LGUs and private sector to offer innovative tourism experience for visitors will greatly enhance the quality of Philippine tourism products,” Durano said.

Camarines Sur emerged as the country’s top tourist destination, after it saw its tourist arrivals triple to 902,202 in the first half of the year from only 306,841 a year earlier.

Lago del Rey Camarines Sur Water Sports Complex

Lago del Rey Camarines Sur Water Sports Complex

The province, known for its wakeboarding destination, accommodated 147,504 foreign guests and 754,698 domestic tourists in the first half.

“The success of this local government unit initiative serves as a model for other LGUs to harness their tourism potentials and optimize local resources to create more economic activity,” Durano said.

Cebu was the second most visited tourist destination with 830,599 visitors, up by 2.3 percent from a year ago. It continues to be the top destination for foreign tourists with 321,116 in the first semester, although this was down 3.5 percent from the same period last year. Domestic tourists in Cebu rose 6.3 percent to 509,433.

Durano said the expansion in air access from major tourist markets, including the new charter flights from Incheon, Busan, Shanghai , Guangzhou , and Kaohsiung as well as increase in room supply, aggressive promotion, public and private sector partnership to diversify the tourism products greatly contributed to the hike in visitor volume to Cebu .

Boracay was the third most visited destination, receiving 383,813 visitors in the January-June period, up by 6 percent from a year ago.

While the volume of foreign visitors in the resort island went down 4.0 percent to 112,315, domestic tourists rose 10.7 percent to 271,498.

Baguio was relegated to the fourth position, following a 14.5 percent drop in arrivals.

Surfing in Bagasbas, Daet, Camarines Norte

Surfing in Bagasbas, Daet, Camarines Norte

Other top destinations in the first semester were Davao , Puerto Galera, Bohol, Negros Occidental, Negros Oriental, Ilocos Norte, Masbate, Camarines Norte, Puerto Princesa, Legaspi, Catanduanes and Sorsogon.

Visitor count in Puerto Princesa and Bohol went up by 63 percent and 16 percent, respectively, as diving, ecotourism, birdwatching, adventure and incentive tourism products were jointly launched by the DOT, LGUs and the private sector, according to Durano.

Five of the 16 destinations are now in Bicol region.

Manila Standard Today

***

The decrease in inbound visitors into East Asia and the Pacific should have been expected as there is a global recession after all. There might even be a decrease in visitors globally as people lose jobs, earn less money and of course channel whatever resources they have left to just basic necessities and basically just surviving.

View from the Partido Riviera, Camarines Sur

View from the Partido Riviera, Camarines Sur


What is interesting is the increase in domestic tourism. Changing lifestyle and travel pattern indeed.

Being from Camarines Sur, and in fact, living just ten minutes away from the Provincial Capitol Complex which we all called “Capitol” before it became the internationally renowned CWC, my childhood years teem with memories of being in the various parts of the complex in all the years of its transformation as it saw one governor with one agenda to the next. There used to be a giant public pool and a smaller kiddie pool where after-school excursions, birthday celebrations and simple family weekends were held; a botanical garden, a bike lane, a deer farm, an orchidarium, even a picnic area where boats could be rented and paddled in one big artificial pool filled with koi and real waterlilies.

Mt. Isarog, Pili, Camarines Sur (May 2009)

Mt. Isarog, Pili, Camarines Sur (May 2009)


I can still remember when the sleepy little town of Caramoan was just that – little and sleepy, and inaccessible to most, even the residents. We locals only made it as far to Atulayan when we wanted white-sand beaches and some quiet time. The rest of the time we sated ourselves with the volcanic ash-black sand of Sabang, the grey-black sand of Nato and the almost pebbled-sand of Pasacao. Who cared about the huge image of Mary? Who cared about the limestone cliffs?

Back then, nobody has even heard of Donsol or cared enough to find out what could be seen there. I say, “Thank you very much locals.” I am sure, like the locals of Caramoan, not all of them are ecstatic about the surge of tourists coming in.

Five of the 16 destinations are now in Bicol region indeed.

My only hope is that this tourism does something to improve Bicol’s status as one of the poorest regions in the country – battered by numerous typhoons year in and year out as well as its status of being the region with the highest population growth. Man, those hot chilis must really work wonders. Either that or the lack of good infrastructure like roads and bridges, communications like good television reception (if there are TVs at all in those little baranggays in hard-to-reach coastal areas as well as up in the forests of the region’s many mountains and volcanoes) leave people with nothing else to do.

As a side-note, this is all just my personal opinion. Don’t take my word for it.

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Hello Philippines! this August

Theater By August 12, 2009 No Comments
Hello Philippines Dalisay Aldaba Recital Hall, U.P. Diliman, August 20-23, 2009 7pm

Hello Philippines CMC Media Center, U.P. Diliman, August 21-23, 2009 3pm and 7pm

The UP Repertory Company Alumni Association and the UP Repertory Company proudly present its first joint offering for 2009: Hello Philippines!

Hello Philippines, a one act musical, is a humorous take on call center culture. Team leader Tiffany tells five agents from his team that one of them is going to get axed. The twist, however, is that he will leave that decision to the five agents. So now, it’s up to ex-tibak Anton, clueless rich girl Berni, the slutty Toni, the probinsyanong Brichi, and the overly religious Elsa to do whatever it takes to keep their jobs. Whatever it takes.

Hello Philippines is viciously funny and holds nothing sacred as it skewers the “call center lifestyle”, a life cycle born out of fast money and desperation, shifting body clocks, and too much coffee, beer, and cigarettes. It attempts to put into perspective all the sacrifices one makes to stay in such an environment, albeit in an entertaining manner.

The College of Mass Communications Media Center is close to the College of Music building which is next to the U.P. Theater. It is also close to Quezon Hall where the Oblation is. For a map, click here.

The play will run August 21-23, 2009 with 3pm and 7pm shows.

For inquiries and tickets, text Jill at 0906-400-3279

You may also view more information on Facebook and Multiply.

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Angku has just become STOiC

Cubao X By August 11, 2009 Tags: , , , No Comments

I frequent Cubao because of its relative proximity to where I now live. Before Cubao X was Cubao X, it was the Marikina Shoe Expo, and I frequented the Marikina Shoe Expo too because it was right beside the Cubao grand bus terminal where we took the buses to Bicol. I always said I am a Cubao girl.. just like my father was a Cubao boy. It was the place to go to before there was Ortigas and Makati.

I go to Mogwai often. Not to drink but because I love their desserts. I do not really go into the other shops that much. Except that the past weeks, I have been looking for dresses and shoes. I must say I have been a bit hooked on online shopping. I have been looking for dresses and shoes – and that is the only reason I went into the inconspicuous little store that is called STOiC – and I was in for a surprise.

I went in and casually went through the racks. Then I find a box on the floor in some corner and found a treasure chest.

I casually took a few pieces of clothing to try them on in their makeshift dressing room and as I was trying them on, my eyes fell on this little sign on the wall, right beside the unflattering mirror.

The Stoic store in Cubao X

The Stoic store in Cubao X

SYMPTOMS YOU’RE STOiC:

1. You’re fashion sense is relaxed. Calm. Unruffled.
2. You’re style is your own. Not too heavy on trends. Not conventional either.
3. People stare at you. And you don’t care.
4. You’re cool. And you’re unaffected.
5. You like reading this, but you don’t show it.

And I thought, this is it. I have found my store. I am officially STOiC.

Clothes rack and shoes inside the STOiC store

Clothes rack and shoes inside the STOiC store

Visit STOiC in Cubao Expo for your fashion fix. Loads of fab and tasteful tops, dresses, skirts and shorts from Bangkok, Hongkong, the US, Dash and Roxy Roco.

PLUS!

Shoes from Methilation (http://methilation.multiply.com),

Bags from Fofa (http://www.fofashion.net),

Accessories by Keri (http://www.flickr.com/photos/jazzzz/sets/72157604008846052/) and Jaja Bolos (http://jhajing.multiply.com)

Verve Sense Soothers (http://www.verve-lifestyle.com)

Clothes, shoes, bags and accessories at STOiC

Clothes, shoes, bags and accessories at STOiC

Operating Hours:
Tue, Wed & Thurs: 1:00PM – 8:30PM
Fri & Sat: 1:00PM – 9:30PM
Sun: 1:00PM – 8:00PM

ADDRESS:
Cubao Expo (previously Marikina Shoe Expo)
Araneta Center, Gen. Romulo Ave., Cubao
Quezon City




If you are at a loss and wondering how exactly you will be able to get there, here is a map to help you out.

On getting there

I took the photos off the multiply sites of STOiC and Methilation because I was not able (or more like did not bother) to take my own photos myself (even if I was toting my camera with me as is now a [new] habit of mine).

Happy shopping!

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Team Conquer

Travel Factor By August 10, 2009 Tags: , , , No Comments
Are You Ready for This?

Are You Ready for This?

Seeing that the Travel Factor Olympics is drawing near, team meetings are being held and practices are being planned. How so very serious are we? Very serious. This serious: “Are you ready for this?” Hahahaha.

862.41642_e

Sanuk Women’s Daydreamer

Hung out for a bit at R.O.X. after spending a few hours at Krispy Kreme. Tried this on and fell in love. Now I’m a-wantin these. *heart eyes*

I also fell in love with the shirts from Team Manila with their Graphic Designed Lifestyle. I am now browsing through their stuff on their website and itching to get back to R.O.X. to get that white tee I saw.. I must hurry before someone snatches it off the rack!

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Quiet Walks on Breezy Days

Musings By August 9, 2009 Tags: No Comments

This weekend has been good; a lot of good quiet walks while the wind gently blew dried leaves down empty streets. I have not been going crazy just yet. Not yet anyway.

My dad came to see us Friday evening and ended up staying two nights. We made my brother who was out playing soccer at some tournament in the Sunken Garden come over to eat the sinigang that my father lovingly cooked for us for lunch –  just like in the old days when we were all kids ourselves and living under the roof of the house our parents built. He spent almost all of his time watching movies or news on TV and I wish I could have spent the nights watching movies with him just like in the old days too but the baby slept early and I had to sleep with her.

The first time Ryan left, back in May for almost two weeks in the States, she became a fussy baby. Very unlike her usual self. I had to bring her out to the garden a lot of times within the day to soothe her with the sounds of the chirping birds, crowing roosters and the sound of the coconut palm fronds swaying in the wind. My sister said it was probably because she was missing her father and that I should have made her father leave a piece of unwashed clothing that she could smell. This time around, I made sure there are a number of unwashed pieces of clothing for her to sniff. We sleep with her father’s clothes so she feels like he is with us. It’s been working the past two nights so far.

I have not been really lonely the past two days…

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Baby biik

MOMents By August 8, 2009 Tags: , , No Comments

I love the fact that she has her hands together in this photo – only because I remember that when she first learned how to put them together, she would look at them, absorbed for hours.

Why so serious?

Lia wearing her (Mama’s) favorite onesie – the one with boats, whales, crabs and the likes. Sea theme! Sitting on the stroller she likes so much.

Green on a Saturday morning.

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One Day Down

Musings By August 7, 2009 Tags: , , No Comments

As illusive as sleep was last night and even the entire day, I did not let that deter me from spending time with my childhood best friend Oliver, whom I affectionately call Olive, home from Papua New Guinea for a short vacation.

He came to the house to see the baby even in the middle of heavy pouring rain that caught him unawares, as is the case these days, being of course the month of August. He brought me four packs of wonderfully aromatic PNG coffee. (Oh I am in heaven.. *sniff sniff*)

PNG coffee

PNG coffee

We had lunch at Robinsons Galleria, a mall that I have not found the time to familiarize myself with despite having lived in relative accessibility for ten years; and spent a considerable amount of time walking around looking for shoes (basketball for him and wedges for me), bought 18×18 throw pillows at the department store (something that I actually should have done like a month ago), bought the Jason Mraz limited edition CD+DVD and and ended meeting up a business contact in Multiply for some dresses I ordered online.

I came home just in time before Friday afternoon traffic kicked in and in time to give the baby a bath before feeding her and putting her to sleep. I also found enough time to harvest and plant on my virtual farm.

Then in the early breezy evening, the quietness refreshingly interrupted every now and then by the tinkling of the capiz shells hanging on the balcony, I log on into my multiply site and see my complete name plastered in big blue bold letters on my screen. I panic! I send a text message to my business contact and politely ask them to remove my complete name on their site in respect of my (supposed) privacy. I google my name (as I do every now and then, really, sorry) to check if the site turns up in the listing.

And then I see this…



Gawad Chancellor

– 02:31 – [ Isalin ang pahinang ito ]my complete name Undergraduate 1. Abejo, Laura Jermina R. 2. Abubakar, Nadira A

. 3. Acas, Ivony A. 4. Alcaria, Trixie Louise S.
www.upd.edu.ph/…/htm/magaaral.htm – Naka-cacheMga katulad na webpage

…and I think, what the hell is this all about?!

 


Gawad para sa Mag-aaral

Isang pagbibigay-pugay at pagkilala sa mga natatanging mag-aaral na nagpamalas ng katalinuhan at kagalingan sa kanilang mga gawaing mag-aaral mula 2nd Sem, 2007-2008 at 1st Sem, 2008-2009. Pagbibigay Puri sa mga Iskolar at Natatanging Mag-aaral


Ika-25 ng Pebrero 2009, Ang Bahay ng Alumni, Ika-8 ng umaga
Unibersidad ng Pilipinas Diliman
Lungsod Quezon

UNIVERSITY SCHOLARS CONVOCATION

ARTS AND HUMANITIES

College of arts and letters

Graduate
1. Alcudia, Fina Felisa L.
2. Molina, George D.
3. Santos, Dino Carlos S. 2*
4. Sicat, Aileen V.


This is all I can say, Ewe Mah Gawd!!!

As a side note, I love that “katalinuhan at kagalingan” part. It serves as a wonderful reminder that at one point in time, I had brains… and brawns also.

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Coming Home to Me

Old Writings By August 6, 2009 Tags: , No Comments

I woke up this morning with this thought, I am giving you up. Not for any reason but that. I woke up this morning feeling and thinking I am giving you up. Not because last night you said you do not want me anymore not once, but three times with complete conviction. Not because you said you have always wanted to break up with me, that you had wanted to for an entire year, that you wanted to let me leave on that airplane knowing full well that there isn’t any you I am coming back to and it hurt like hell, but because this morning I woke up thinking and feeling I am giving you up. Not I should give you up, but I am.

This afternoon right about one in the afternoon, the wind picked up, and blew and howled. I stood firmly on the ground as the wind whipped stray fine hairs into my eyes and I watched gray heavy clouds drift swiftly past above the densely green hills. A thousand tiny knives borne out of the loneliness of my heart, surged  and pricked me in a thousand sundry ways as deliberate diffident tears escaped from the pools I collected from the corners of my eyes. The leaves rustled, twigs flew, branches were broken and torn, tumbled down the bleakness of the grass bowed low. The wind commiserating with the turbulence in the depths of my heart roared silently. I know this sadness. I have felt it over and over again countless times. It is as familiar as my smile, the smell of my skin, and the feel of my hand against my cheek. In the grayness of early afternoon, something was sticking out tenaciously against the willful wind, vivid still – one lone crape myrtle flower, that gave me hope, gave me joy.. Just as in the past, there was you, now there is only this purple flower, now there is only me. No one else but me. Steadfast. Resolute. And as I always have been, will always be, stubborn though weak.

The rain fell in torrents tonight, unfalteringly wicked. It fell on the tin roof, spit-spattering like Morse code, and made me wonder if somehow it was trying to send a message across that I because of ignorance just couldn’t get. Somehow I will know, sometime. I am slowly, painfully learning, though crawling through bit by bit.

So this is how coming home really means, my coming home to me. There is no one to come home to anymore but me. In this island far from home, far from the people I loved most, cherished the most, treasured the most and the things I deemed most important, I found me. Beautiful and ugly in more ways than two or three or even ten, but decidedly real.

Written August 9, 2005

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August 2005

Musings By August 6, 2009 Tags: , No Comments

Sitting with myself, a glass of coke on the balcony ledge, a cigarette in one hand, sprays of rainwater with the occasional gust of wind on my face, I look at the gray pouring sky and think, this feels familiar.

Four years ago, there was also this. Days of this in fact. Sitting with myself, a glass of coke sitting next to me, a cigarette in one hand, sprays of rainwater with the occasional gust of wind on my arms and legs as the roof of the small unused little hut standing in front of the house that was my home for the past three months was not enough shelter for the little me that found myself in a little town, deemed somewhat inaccessible, right by the beach with the looming Cadlao island right in front of it.

Four years ago, I was not married. I did not have a baby. There was just me. Venturing out into the unknown world of other people and other places. Places that my feet have trodden on for the first time. People whose faces I was just getting to know and getting used to. It was a big world and I made it little. Little enough so I could find myself. And I did.

Four years ago, I lived in a small house with four other people. I had a wonderful roommate who was vivacious in so many ways. When we were down, when we were lonely, she would cry out at the top of her voice, “Endorphins! Endorphins! Let’s make some endorphins!” and we’d dance on our living floor that five days a week was the classroom for the little boys and girls that we called pre-school. We’d get our badminton rackets and play right outside our house, in the middle of the street. We’d run to the beach, tie our shirts on the outriggers of docked boats and swim. We’d walk briskly to the Art Cafe and borrow mountain bikes.

On rainy days like this, we’d make hot cocoa drinks, sit around on our little dining table and talk about our past lives and the wonderful kids that made us laugh, that put meaning into our otherwise dreary, boring lives.

I miss those days.

It’s been four years. Two of us have gotten married. Someone is in Slovenia. Someone is in Singapore. No one is still in El Nido, that place that have adopted us and in so many ways, have made us into who we are now. I still live with three other people: my husband, the baby and the maid. I still have a dog, though now it’s smaller and officially mine. Not anymore the neighbor’s dog that I made into my own.

I wish I could cry out at the top of my lungs, “Endorphins! Endorphins!” right now but I can’t. I wish I could make hot cocoa drinks and laugh about the kids. There is no cocoa drink to make. There are no kids to laugh about. And most importantly, there is no one to laugh with.

Tomorrow morning, I know it’s going to rain. I will get drenched. My cheeks, my face, my shirt will all get drenched. Just as it did on my twenty-seventh birthday.

I always leave when Ryan leaves. Just because I cannot stay home by myself. The house just feels empty with just me in it.

Now I can’t leave. Because my plane to El Nido does not take babies. Because my parents can’t meet me in Catanduanes. Because I can’t drive me and the baby by myself to La Union. Because the weather is bad.

I know a week does not seem too long, but for me it does. It is. A week is a long time to be talking to no one but myself. A week is too long to be taking care of the baby on my own. A week is just simply too long.

I miss those days from four years ago. When you’d crawl under the covers and read a good book for an hour or two for your quiet time, knowing that when you need someone to talk to, someone to laugh with, there is someone in the bedroom next door, doing just what you are doing, feeling just the way you do.

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